
Let’s talk about the fashion statement of the decade: the water bottle.
Have you noticed? These things are full-blown accessories now. I’m not even mad about it—it’s just funny. Because once upon a time (cue the nostalgic music), we didn’t have matching 40 oz stainless steel hydration stations with rubber straws and pastel colors. We had… a garden hose.
Yes, I’m aging myself here—but I survived on hose water and Kool-Aid. And I turned out (mostly) fine.
Back then, water wasn’t this glamorous thing. We didn’t track ounces in an app or carry emotional support bottles with motivational time stamps like “You’re doing great!” or “Almost there!” No one clapped for us when we hydrated. We just… got thirsty and found a spigot.
Now? Water bottles come with entire personalities:
- The Stanley Cup Girlies™ with color-coordinated gym fits.
- The Minimalist Sipper with matte black sleekness and zero branding.
- The Sticker Bombed Emotional Companion that doubles as a scrapbook.
- The Gallon Jug Warrior—bless you, your biceps must be amazing.
And don’t get me wrong—I get it. We’re all out here trying to drink more water, be more mindful, and stay hydrated. And hey, if carrying around a trendy water bottle gets you there, do your thing!
But just for a second, let’s raise our BPA-free, insulated tumblers in a toast to a simpler time—when water was warm, slightly metallic, and came straight from the side of the house. Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Underrated.
Cheers to hydration, whatever your style.
And to the hose… thanks for the memories.


